:: Archipelapogo ::

:: 31.10.02 ::

Cubical Humor

It's been a long, boring day, and I just found this site called Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing that is absolutely hilarious. Of course, now it's quitting time, so I'll finish reading it tomorrow.
:: Scott [+] ::
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R.I.P., man

Jam Master Jay shot in studio.

Radio station, around the nation
Run, D, and Jason, made a dedication
To those listenin, we're not dissin em
Recording and rewarding so we won't be missin em
Keep on playin song, LP playin long
Jay, D, and Joe, keep the radio stayin on
I always say to Joe, turn on the radio
Jam Master Jay will know, that is the way to go
While Jay's DJin, I will be sayin
Rhymes that are playin, FM or AM
On hot rotation, a winning combination
AM, FM, music modulation
Rappin on the mic is my occupation
That's what I like, dear radio station

:: Scott [+] ::
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My question is, did Cheney read it to him?

From the Hartford Courant we get the story of Gabe Hudson who wrote a book called "Dear Mr. President". He sent a copy to Bush and received a letter in reply from the President.

If Hudson is telling the truth - and there's no reason to think he isn't - Bush recently sent the young author a two-paragraph note, complete with his own review of "Dear Mr. President."

"I was in shock. Very surprised," Hudson said Tuesday. "I didn't think it was real at first. I mean, who would? But once you hold the thing and read it, there's no doubt in your mind. I mean, nobody could fake the authority of that letter."

Bush's missive, however, was not fan mail.

"The letter began by thanking me for sending the book," Hudson said. "Also, I'm from Austin, Texas, and the president touched on the fact that I was a fellow Texan, congratulating me on my book. But he was setting me up for the one-two punch. Because he called the book unpatriotic and ridiculous and just plain bad writing. Beyond that, I've been instructed not to talk about the contents of the letter for the time being."

Hudson's book is a funny and insightful look at modern American life through the prism of war and the experiences of fictional military service veterans. The author was in the Marine Reserves in the early '90s. While he did not fight in the Gulf War, his relationships with those who did supplied him with the fodder for "Dear Mr. President."

Asked whether the president might have other things to do than write letters to authors, Hudson said, "Like jogging? Or starting wars? I don't get the sense that the president has read enough books, or that he ever will. But you're right. I mean, our country, the economy, is in complete disarray."

Now isn't this whole letter from the President only going to accomplish two things? 1) Guaranteed publicity for the book, which is only going to help sales. 2) Won't it have the same effect as putting a "Parental Advisory" sticker on an album? "Ooooh, it's 'unamerican', I'd better see what all the hype is about." That leads to, um, more sales.

When people in power can't see the forest for the trees in little matters like this, how do we trust them to make major policy decisions?

Read the entire article here. More about the book here. Story via O-Dub.

:: Scott [+] ::
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Fleeting Season's Greetings (already?)

Sigh. I was watching some history channel at Denise's place last night and saw my first Christmas commercial of the year. It was for the Home Shopping Network, and had the requisite crap music, cheesy graphics, and annoying tagline. Let me remind you...It's not even Halloween yet. Sheesh. I think I'm going to keep a mental list of everybody who starts their Christmas ads running before Thanksgiving and boycott those stores. All of your Christmas gifts will now be constructed by me with things that I can find in my closet. Ho Ho Ho.

Is it time to start talking about "buy nothing day" yet?

See also this great comment by Five Fresh Fish in a MeFi thread about crap mechandise sporting the whole 9/11 thing:

Bah. Nothing at all shocking about this. It's part of the a uniquely American weirdness: an attraction to the synthetic and artificial. It's so much... cleaner than the real thing.

Hence Disney's Animal Kingdom with its immense artificial tree. Gated communities with astroturf instead of lawns. Hollywood movies that are merely a remake of an older film. Pop music. Artificial tans. Rolex knock-offs. Huge portions of low-quality food. Colour-enhanced oranges. Spring-fresh air freshener.

And, naturally, artificial emotions. Why suffer the stress of real mourning and the effort of forcing the government to change its foreign affairs policies, when one can instead purchase the t-shirt or bumper sticker?

Damn, it's going to be a long two months.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Pudding, clown heads, and little bitty parachutes, Oh My!

Alternative War Works has some ideas for a war that's a little bit safer, a little bit kinder, and a little more funny.

Operation Tiny Paratroopers: The release of thousands of tiny plastic toy paratroopers over enemy bunkers will needlessly provoke opposition forces into an emergency defensive formation. Repeated false alarms of this type will both tire and frustrate them.

Read more here.

(via Nadablog)

:: Scott [+] ::
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Just in time for those Christmas Cards you never send

Send somebody a pee-mail. Design your own, watch it once, then send it to a friend. All in great fun.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Yeah, but is there a fantasy league?

2002 International Rock Paper Scissors Championships to be held in Toronto on November 16 -- Toronto has been selected as host city to the 2002 International Rock Paper Scissors Championships, presented by the World Rock Paper Scissors Society, the governing body of the sport of Rock Paper
Scissors (RPS). The Championships, which will take place at The Mockingbird on November 16, will bring the world's premier RPS players to Toronto to compete for the Championship Trophy and a total of $2,000 in prize money.

So even if you take first, it probably won't even pay for your trip. From the World Rock, Paper, Scissors society, some advanced tips for that competitive edge. an online trainer so you can practice, and, of course, merchandise!

intial link via pugachev
:: Scott [+] ::
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Addendum, but there's a post inbetween

Part II of the hotel hanger trial. Be sure to scroll down a bit and read part I first, if you haven't.

(via dog door of death)
:: Scott [+] ::
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You're so going down, perps

I just to announce that I'm taking on Sean in the first week of the SpoFi Fantasy B-ball league. Let the talking of the proverbial crap occur.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Like an 18th Century Stage Comedy

A most extraordinary trial is going on in the High Court at the moment in which a man named Chrysler is accused of stealing more than 40,000 coat hangers from hotels round the world. He admits his guilt, but in his defence he claims that – well, perhaps it would be simpler just to bring you a brief extract from the trial. We join the case at the point where Chrysler has just taken the stand.

Counsel: What is your name?

Chrysler: Chrysler. Arnold Chrysler.

Counsel: Is that your own name?

Chrysler: Whose name do you think it is?

Counsel: I am just asking if it is your name.

Chrysler: And I have just told you it is. Why do you doubt it?

Counsel: It is not unknown for people to give a false name in court.

Chrysler: Which court?

Counsel: This court.

Chrysler: What is the name of this court?

Counsel: This is No 5 Court.

Chrysler: No, that is the number of this court. What is the name of this court?

Counsel: It is quite immaterial what the name of this court is!

Chrysler: Then perhaps it is immaterial if Chrysler is really my name.

Counsel: No, not really, you see because...

Judge: Mr Lovelace?

Counsel: Yes, m'lud?

Judge: I think Mr Chrysler is running rings round you already. I would try a new line of attack if I were you.

Counsel: Thank you, m'lud.

Chrysler: And thank you from ME, m'lud. It's nice to be appreciated.

Judge: Shut up, witness.

Chrysler: Willingly, m'lud. It is a pleasure to be told to shut up by you. For you, I would...

Judge: Shut up, witness. Carry on, Mr Lovelace.

Read the rest here. Via Daypop Top40.

:: Scott [+] ::
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Happiness, Glee, Excitement!

Essential concert coming to town: Avail and Planes Mistaken for Stars (along with Hey Mercedes and The Curse). Yay. Thank you Pollstar for showing me the way. Now, to just wait for six weeks. Hmmph.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Burn Baby, Burn

I neglected to mention that I got my new external CD burner from Cendyne working over the weekend, thanks to an upgrade to Win XP. She's very lovely, and a test CD went very well, finishing in just over 9 minutes, which is pretty good for an external burner. Now, time to make myself and those around me happier with the gift of music.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Weekend Wrapup

My 'rents came down this weekend for a visit, which was quite nice. Eating, shopping, scrabble, and eating ensued....big time. We went to the jfk museum (none of us had ever been). It was nice to finally see what's up there, three floors above my head forty hours a week. Nothing spectacular, but well done. And worth a look-see.

I really enjoyed the seventh floor exhibit of the Pulitzer Prize winning photographs. Nice, large prints of each one, and a little about the photo, the photographer, and some of the story in the photographers words. It was very nice, and very interesting. I think this photo from 1976 was the most symbolic and breath-taking. Very powerful.
:: Scott [+] ::
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I am better than your kids

I got this forwarded to me as a Word doc sometime last week and though it was hilarious. Someone on MeFi found it on the web. Check it out. Quite funny. (explicit language warning).
:: Scott [+] ::
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Auto-lust

There's a sweet Pontiac Silver Streak out in the museum parking lot today. It looks kind of like this one, but it's blue (and the top is up). Very nice.

Denise's father is in the country this week (actually having Lasik done today) so I took her to work this morning and drove from there to here (no train today). On the way to her work, we spotted a Bentley driving around. It was quite odd seeing one with a guy just driving to work. He must have some issues.
:: Scott [+] ::
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MMmmmm, satire

From Fanatical Apathy, a post entitled "Is Florida the same as Iraq?" Good stuff.
:: Scott [+] ::
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what the...?

Oddly enough, the 'pogo comes up first for a Yahoo Search of "Frida Kahlo toilet trophy". Wow, that's confusing.

Slightly more depressing, Google deems me the seventh best resource for a "Dork Convention". Great.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Feeling Odd

Stolen directly from 13Labs, Final Meal Requests from executed people in Texas. Some are fairly odd combos, a surprising number of people declined a last meal, many are truly gluttonous, and some are just outright bizarre. Case in point:

Chocolate birthday cake with "2/23/90" written on top, seven pink candles, one coconut, kiwi fruit juice, pineapple juice, one mango, grapes, lettuce, cottage cheese, peaches, one banana, one delicious apple, chef salad without meat and with thousand island dressing, fruit salad, cheese, and tomato slices. There's bound to be some truly sad story about that cake.

Two 16 oz. ribeyes, one lb. turkey breast (sliced thin), twelve strips of bacon, two large hamburgers with mayo, onion, and lettuce, two large baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese, and chives, four slices of cheese or one-half pound of grated cheddar cheese, chef salad with blue cheese dressing, two ears of corn on the cob, one pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and four vanilla Cokes or Mr. Pibb. I really think that's more than I eat in a week.

One guy requested that his meal be delivered to a homeless person (the site doesn't say if it was granted or not), which is nice. Some requested things such as "Justice, Temperance, with Mercy" or "God's saving grace, love, truth, peace and freedom" which are either depressing or a bit dramatic, depending on the stories of the people.

Me? I think ordering anything knowing that it would be the last thing I ever eat would be too stressful and depressing for me to handle. Too monumental I suppose. I may be like the guy that simply asked for a tortilla and some water. Seems like something I'd do at any rate.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE MASSIVE NUMBER OF PEOPLE THIS STATE EXECUTES YEARLY. THAT'S A TOPIC FOR A DIFFERENT TIME WITHIN A DIFFERENT POST
:: Scott [+] ::
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Good show, old chap!

Sherlock Holmes Granted Honorary Fellowship -- Victorian supersleuth Sherlock Holmes has become the first fictional character to be granted an honorary fellowship by Britain's prestigious Royal Society of Chemistry.

The pipe-smoking detective, a creation of novelist Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was honored in a ceremony Wednesday near his famous London address -- 221b Baker Street.

"What he did was bring scientific methods into detective work as well as being a good honest cop," the society's secretary general David Giachardi told Reuters.

"He was probably the first truly scientific detective."

Right on. I've read the vast majority of the Sherlock Holmes stories, and truly enjoy them. Anything like this that's done is cool in my book.

Random trivia: Did you know that Arthur Conan Doyle was not knighted for his literary contributions to society, but for his actions in the Boer War? He wanted to volunteer for the Army, but was only allowed to go as a medic (he also was a doctor). Bored by that, he returned to England and published a pamphlet entitled The War in South Africa: Its Cause and Conduct, which helped sway the public opinion to supporting the war. For this, he was made Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Touching, in the endearing way

Stavrosthewonderchicken has been dealing with the Bali bomb blast in a personal way with an old dear friend who may or may not have been there. Won't ruin the story for you. Go here first, then scroll up as you finish the posts. Good stuffs.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Haikooties!

Though time heals all wounds
It's more accurate to say
Time makes you senile

I really enjoy Hiakus of the News in a Jack Handy kind of way. And she's a fellow DFWblogger. I don't really get the title though, as they're not really News related. But she's got one hell of a URL.
:: Scott [+] ::
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I want a room

For the past, oh, I don't know, 5 or 6 years, I've been mentally planning a room I'll never have. I'll never have this room because I'll never have the house that would support such a room. See, in order to have my room, I need to have it custom built. Actually, it'd be kind of fun to do on my own, but then there would be multiple injuries both while building and using the room. But the room must be custom made for me. (Another reason I won't have the room. I'm just not greedy or selfish enough. Yet?) But on to the room.

The room would be built in a two story house, and it would use both stories. This is highly preferable. If it were just a one-story room, that would suffice, but it would be far inferior in quality. The crux (or the "i don't know what" in french) of the room is that there are several different altitudes of areas in the room. Like some giant steps, and maybe some giant platforms around that you would need to use a ladder to get to. The giant steps would go up one side of the room. I wish I could draw it for you, but this will have to do. They'd be staggered, with some steps being taller than others, some only going halfway across the room, etc. You starting to develop a picture? And the steps would have nice carpet on them. Something soft. Aaaaaah.

The platforms would be used for things like an office on one, a smaller one to perch on (if you know me, you know I absolutely love to perch), one for storage, etc. It'd also be cool if there were closets within the platform to put things. Places to put things are good.

My room has a nice computer, with high-speed internet. It's also got a stereo (with ability to play CD's and Vinyl and Tapes, and maybe DAT's, just for the hell of it). My room also has a little fridge for supplies. My room also has very dark curtains on the windows, so that I can block the sun out if I feel like it. My room most certianly has no television though. That's like making a very fine french meal and putting a pickle on it. Just kills the ambience.

I would really like my room. I shall never have my room. Sigh.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Best new slang term, ever!

So somebody posted this survery about pronunciation to MeFi earlier. I took it, (it's 122 questions, and took me around 20 minutes) and it gives no results or analysis. So that sucked. But it wasn't all for naught. I give you question number 77:

What do you call the activity of driving around in circles in a car?
a) doing donuts
b) doing cookies
c) whipping shitties

"Whipping shitties" had me stifling laughs in my cube for quite some time. I've never heard this phrase, but will use and misuse it at every possible opportunity in the near future.

Addendum

Possible derivations and uses that I've thought of:

Getting angry: The whole warhawk "let's bomb Iraq" vibe really whips my shitties.

Getting drunk: He had ten shots of Jagermeister in about an hour and a half. After that, his shitties were really whipped.

Being in a frenzy: After Newcastle United won the UEFA cup (hey, I can dream can't I?) the fans went out on the town in a shitty whipped state.

Confused: While taking econometrics, the regression proofs really whipped my shitties.

A good time: The party after the game was a shitty-whipping good time!

Your assignment: Come up with another one, leave it in the comments, and use the phrase "Whipping Shitties" at least three times this weekend. Feel free to report back any good anecdotes.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Get a life, puto

I've decided to start a Latin-American Newsblog, entitled La Prensa (the Press). I know most people here won't have much use for it. But for me, it's a disciplinary tool, forcing me to keep up with events going on south of the Rio Grande. Hopefully some others will find a use for it too. Not much commentary going on there, just links and summaries of articles. The layout will probably change some when I've got more time to work on it, but I just wanted to get it going.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Fun with Legos, or, some people have way too much free time

This guy built a life sized, fully functioning harpsichord out of legos. Wow. And he documented it really well. In this pic, the dinosaur behind him appears to be made of legos as well.

Also, although it's been everywhere else, Lego meets M.C. Escher. (1, 2, 3). Impressive.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Paging Mister Myers, Mister Myers You Have A Message At the Front Desk

Ryan, you need to get your bony ass down here. I've got a new next door neighbor who's tall, blonde, pretty, and she's bumping some Phish (must combat it with loud Minor Threat!!). You'd better come down before PugAchev comes over and sweeps her off of her feet. Just a heads up.
:: Scott [+] ::
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This explains so much

Feng shui tip, do you know where your prosperity corner is? One school of thought believes it is located within the kitchen table. Keep it clutter free and prosperity is sure to follow.

I don't have a damn kitchen table!
:: Scott [+] ::
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Are we gun nuts? Or just nuts?

Don't forget that Michael Moore's new movie Bowling for Columbine is set to open in theaters across the country this Friday. I'll be seeing it at the Inwood, who's got the exclusive Dallas engagement. Check out who's listed as "cast" on the Inwood's website:

Cast: Michael Moore, George W. Bush, Dick Clark, Charlton Heston, Marilyn Manson, John Nichols, Matt Stone

Now who wouldn't want to see this movie? It's eerie that the movie is coming out as there is a sniper on the loose in Maryland and some guy just did some random shootings in a small town south of here on Monday. Maybe this will encourage people to see the film. Maybe it will allow them to open their minds a bit and be influenced by the film. I just hope the film is good. Knowing Moore, it'll be done well, as film is his (IMO) best medium.
:: Scott [+] ::
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The five bands that I consider to be the worst and most overrated.

I won't go into individual reasons, because they would all wind up the same. These are just the five that I never got the kitch of, never understood, never liked, and (hopefully) never will. No particular order.

- KISS
- The Grateful Dead
- The Eagles
- Jimmy Buffett
- The Sex Pistols.

No apologies, it's just my opinion.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Wow

Okay. The Bright Eyes show was brilliant. The event got moved to La Zona Rosa, I'm guessing either due to ticket sales or the size of the Bright Eyes ensemble (more on that in a bit). Before the show, I was waiting outside La Zona Rosa with two friends, waiting for the guy that got us tickets to show up. We were sitting outside the gate, obviously, when a fire truck pulled up. The firemen rushed into the outside area of LZR. I couldn't tell exactly what was going on, but another fire truck and an ambulance pulled up. I looked over and saw a pretty overweight guy laying down, surrounded by paramedics and whatnot. Eventually they got him on a stretcher and took him into the ambulance while performing CPR on him, which led me to believe that he had a heart attack. A woman (friend/wife/whatever) to the guy got in the passenger side, and they took off to the hospital. It was pretty crazy.

The Bright Eyes set was brilliant though. Conor Oberst had no less than 12 musicians with him playing at various times the following instruments: Guitar, Bass, a Drum Kit, a stand up Snare Drum with a crash cymbal, another drummer alternating between timbales and timpani (sp?) drums and various other percussion things, a flute, an oboe, a cello, a violin, a banjo, a mandolin, a xylophone, a keyboard, and something that looked homemade. And I probably forgot at least one other instrument. The songs were very orchestral, but it was very nice because they didn't lose any of the feeling to them, and the band played in synce very well, with no one instrument overshadowing the others. The drummers were very good, and the parts where they all played the same beat were very visually exciting. Not many of my favorite songs were played, and quite a few that I wasn't familiar with were, but it was very enjoyable none the less. One of the most unique and entertaining shows I've ever attended. Also one of the most exciting. There were still plenty of toned down moments, just Conor with his guitar or whatever, but when all of the musicians were playing at once, it was a full on sonic assault. Beautiful stuff.

After the Bright Eyes set ended, I went to the restroom. On the way back out to meet up with my friends, I overheard the lady that was in the ambulance with the guy talking to the sound people at the club. She was screaming hysterically and saying "he's dead" over and over. I guess he didn't make it. Very eerie and sad. I'd never witnessed somebody's last few moments in life. It definitely put a somber end to the evening.
:: Scott [+] ::
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What was that, Kruggel?

Baylor 35 - Kansas 32. The 29 game Big XII losing streak is over, and the goalposts were taken down. They were also taken down homecoming of '97 (freshman year for me -- I did not attend this game) when Baylor beat UT (big shocker). Big relief. I can now ignore the rest of the season and its ensuing losses.
:: Scott [+] ::
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Storytime! Storytime!

I remember distinctly the night that I first heard Bright Eyes. It was in Dallas while I was riding in the back of a friend's car. We had gone earlier that evening to the Reverend Horton Heat and Hagfish show that was celebrating Trees' 10th anniversary, sometime senior year of college. Yo La Tengo was playing inside Trees, and our show was in the parking lot. After the show, we went to a bar for a bit and hung out chatting. On the way back to the house where we were staying, a friend popped in a mix tape that somebody else had made for him. While it was playing, I was just sitting in the back seat listening to the two in the front seat argue about something.

Then "The Calendar Hung Itself" began to play. I listened intensely to the whole song. Then another Bright Eyes song played. I believe it was "Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh". I interrupted their conversation to ask who the band was. Friend told me, I said "wow, this is amazing, amazing stuff". He concurred.

Bright Eyes played in Texas several months later, shortly before I graduated. They were opening up for Pavement's Steven Malkmus on his solo tour. I didn't go, due to a lack of funding and pre-graduating stress. I was pretty saddened by it. Tonight, I get to see them. And they're headlining. That is all. Thank you for reading.
:: Scott [+] ::
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War on Mother Nature Iraq!

U.S. drops leaflets warning Iraq of counterattack (cnn.com link).

Propaganda! Propaganda!

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The U.S. military has dropped leaflets over southern Iraq in a promised psychological campaign to undercut support for Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, U.S. officials told CNN on Thursday.

The propaganda is being dropped over southern Iraq, warning the rank-and-file Iraqi military not to target coalition warplanes. The wording notes a determined U.S. effort to attack the sources of such ground fire, and says "You could be next."

Yeah!



:: Scott [+] ::
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Mmmmm, free music *drool*

Thanks to KaZaa Lite, I've been back in the downloading game recently (like the last three or four days). I've been mostly getting stuff from two very different bands, those being Pretty Girls Make Graves (who knew lookout! was still around?) and Idlewild.

Pretty Girls Make Graves are one of those bands that'll keep me interested in punk for another year. Every once in a while, I get kind of burned out and think that nothing really spectacular will come around, and then I'll find one band that'll totally reignite the flame for me. They kind of remind me of Dillinger 4, but with female vocals, which is a good thing. They're on tour right now, but they're skipping Dallas (you bastards!) and the Austin show's on a Wednesday, so that's a negative. It's a shame too, b/c I think they'd be pretty good live. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

Idlewild are vastly different. They're basically just BritPop (they're from Scotland). They've got some really good lyrics and harmonies though, which is cool. I heard their song "American English" on the Adventure Club one Sunday night, and really liked it, so I decide to check out some of their other stuff. They're going to be opening for Coldplay on their European tour, which is a pretty noble gig. I didn't see any plans to tour the states anytime soon, but I'd check 'em out if it wasn't too much money. I don't think I'll buy their CD anytime soon, if ever. But I am content to download some stuff and give it a whirl for a while.
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Prodigy Son

The Dallas Observer's got an interview/feature thingy on Conor Oberst. I'm seeing Bright Eyes tomorrow night in Austin. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
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Warm Fuzzies

I don't know why I like this so much, but I really do. If by Elizabeth Ellen. Excerpt:

If my name was Zelda and yours F. Scott, would you write a novel just for me, so that I would agree to be your bride? Would you be my cohort at wild parties, drinking ourselves into sweet oblivion, passing out next to one another on the bed, fully clothed, hands entwined?

:: Scott [+] ::
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